By Raymond Knowby


And by “takes”, they mean “takes about an hour” to get there. Seriously, we’re not in New York until the climax of the film, and we’re in Crystal Lake for about six minutes at the beginning, so that leaves the rest of the movie onboard a cruise boat while the killer dispatches more brain dead kids. It’s competently shot and Rob Heddon seems like a nice guy, but that doesn’t make this rise above anything but a waste of man power and gaffing tape.

Let us count thy offenses: first off, they ressurect Jason AGAIN with electricity. God’s sake–doing that once was bad enough, but TWICE? Not even with the collected creative energy of the hundred or so folks who put their names on this embarrassment could they come up with a new gimmick?

Now aside from the tired plotline (it’s TERROR TRAIN on the high seas, and done far less effectively) and the bitchin’ fact that Jason has learned the ability to teleport, the cast does a decent enough job of showing up, reading lines, and dying. The production value is fairly ace. Though censored out the backdoor, the makeup effects on most everything are also well executed (a sauna hot-rock through-the-chest gag is of inventive note).

Still, quite a low one to go out on for Paramount. And it loses further merit for toting a bland-ass opening credit sequence. This is a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie, dammit–where’s the trademark snappy intro?

Not the tightest ship is run in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN.